The Wrong Hands on the Reins

If you’ve ever helped a client through a family dispute after a death, you’ll know prevention is everything.

As a solicitor - and a parent - I often think about what we leave behind. Not just money or property, but relationships, responsibilities and the emotional weight that can fall on the people we care about.

And too often, things go wrong not because of bad intentions, but because of missed opportunities to plan ahead.

This article is about spotting those opportunities and taking action before families end up in my inbox with a dispute that could have been avoided.

The Problem with ‘It’ll Be Fine…’ is that too many clients believe:

• Their children will ‘get along fine’

• Their appointment of executors won’t cause issues

• Their intentions are ‘clear enough’ even without documentation

But as practitioners, we know better. Assumptions create the perfect environment for disputes.

5 Ways to Prevent Disputes Before They Start

1. Get the Right Executors in Place - Not Just the Closest

Encourage clients to choose executors for their skills and relationship dynamics, not just because ‘they’re my eldest’.

• Use co-executors carefully

• Highlight potential conflicts (e.g. siblings with tension)

• Consider appointing professionals for complex estates

2. Use LPAs Early and Thoughtfully

Abuse often begins before death, through financial decisions made under pressure or without oversight.

• Ensure LPAs are in place while capacity is clear

• Discuss safeguards: joint attorneys, replacement options, notification rules

• Review who holds access to accounts and documents

3. Document the ‘Why’ Behind Big Gifts or Will Clauses

If your client is leaving one child more, make sure the reasoning is recorded.

• Use a capacity assessment or statement of intent

• Apply the Golden Rule (especially for elderly clients)

• Consider a short letter of wishes to explain reasoning (even if not legally binding)

4. Spot and Talk About Red Flags

We see the signs: adult children who speak on behalf of the parent, family members who ‘manage everything’ quietly in the background.

• Ask subtle questions about influence and support

• Encourage clients to attend meetings alone

• Log conversations and capacity impressions clearly

5. Encourage Early Family Conversations

Disputes often stem from surprise.

• If safe to do so, suggest clients share their intentions

• Consider a family meeting with a solicitor present

• Help clients understand the emotional impact of their choices

Why This Matters

Disputes cost money. But they also cost relationships. As our population ages and more wealth transfers generationally, these issues will only grow. We’re not just here to resolve, we’re here to prevent.

Want to Strengthen Your Estate Planning Advice and Reduce Risk for Your Clients?

I regularly work alongside private client teams, financial advisers, and other professionals to build preventative strategies and support vulnerable families early. If you’d like to share ideas, sense-check a tricky scenario, or explore collaboration, I’d be glad to connect.